How to Coach Your Kid Before College


Most colleges can’t/won’t or don’t have as part of their bally wick to teach our kids what they should do with their life – and sadly, even what to major with.  (Trust me, I believe they should, but truth be told, few do.) Just a thought: as parents, why should we invest HUGE amounts of money in educating our children to do things they’ re not even sure they’re gifted, interested or have the guts to do? Yet, the Bible actually does encourage parents to be proactive about what most colleges don’t do: Help students find what they focus on in studies, majors, career and life.  Even if our parents never did this for us, it’s part of what parents do.  (Most of our parents were simply not equipped to do this, but this doesn’t … Continue reading

4 Coaching Skills Every Human Needs to Succeed

In a perfect world, there would be no need for coaches, counselors and advisers.  Friends, family and managers would continually help us do what coaches and human development experts do:  become 100% alive. 100% ourselves. 100% effective. What is coaching? Coaching involves ongoing and intentional conversation that empowers people or groups to thrive and live out their callings. A friend who started coaching wondered why they should pay someone to listen to them, ask questions and care.  “Shouldn’t my friends do that?” he asked. The answer is no…. and yes.  No -  Trained and/or gifted coaches, counselors really do change lives and empower change.  Yes, more people could and should do what trained counselors and coaches do.   Actually be great if more people studied and learned coaching proficiencies. Having studied coaching and participated in the … Continue reading

The Best Thing You Can Bring to Your Business

Businessman standing on rock

What’s the best thing you can bring to your business? Over the years,  I might have answered that question with some of these: A degree from the right place. A degree in the right field. A great network. Hard work Credibility Your past success Confidence Capital (and more capital) An accountant The right team The right strategy The next right strategy All good things…. I still agree those matter. However, I’ve come to strongly believe THE BEST thing we can possibly bring to our business… It’s this: Our Spiritual Self. Consider.  To be authentically “spiritual” involves living into what all of us really want … being  fully alive.  The”spiritual” person brims with life, vitality, “charisma” (filled with grace), wholeness, or as Jesus called it, “life to the full.”  The spiritual person brings their mind, their … Continue reading

Is It Still OK to Be an Idealist?


  I truly wonder sometimes if it’s still worthwhile to be an idealist. Turning on the news and still seeing MESS in things we care about. Struggling to get taken seriously for our visions Being Seen as Naive for our belief Being Underfunded or Underpurchased Caring about those who don’t seem to care about themselves… Idealist n. a person who cherishes or pursues high or noble principles, purposes, goals, etc. Also defined as “a visionary or impractical person.” Visionary I can go with… it’s when it gets to impractical that questions begin. Impractical: not capable of dealing with practical matters; lacking sense, an idealist. Ie. Many, if not most, entrepreneurs, writers, communicators, ministry leaders, missionaries, teachers, social workers, coaches, counselors, inventors, political leaders,  parents…. (Sometimes especially parents! Single parents who care for their kids…. TOTALLY!) There … Continue reading

Three Things to Do During a Detour


What do when you your seemingly well-planned out agenda gets interrupted by a road block and invitation to a detour? Had no clue existed? Had no clue when it ended. Had no control that you ended up there… or at least control you knew of? This was my yesterday morning in Boulder, CO. After an early morning enjoying a ‘strangely all alone” (hmmm…. )  trip up a mountain to enjoy the sunrise and a run along some of the most “postcardesque” vistas imaginable. Time to get back to my planned “to-do’s” (which at this point including finding a place to live in Boulder) “Roads closed Sir.  It’s not going to be open until 3:30 this afternoon.  Didn’t you read the sign when you came up here this morning?” My pulse quickened.  “ Whattt?????   There was … Continue reading

Unforced Rhythms of Grace at Work Radio Interview


Since this spring’s radio interview with Melinda Schmidt on her show Midday Connection, I’ve had numerous listeners contact me to say, “I feel like you were speaking directly to me.” After hearing those words twice yesterday and once more today, I thought I should post for others out there who might also relate to… The belief that draining, purposeless and loathsome work is not the way it’s meant to be. My own journey from being a senior pastor to what I do now. Our work can be a spiritual expression of who we really are You too can find a forward to work with”unforced rhythms of grace” This concept of  “unforced rhythms of grace” can be found in Matthew 11 and is worded that way in the Message Version.  It really is THE way of … Continue reading

Living Into Large


It’s OH so easy to just settle, isn’t it?  When I mentioned the little hairs growing in my ears to Kristen, who was cutting my hair, she said, “Yeah, you get older and things tend to grow and droop, don’t they?” Hmmmm…. Is this just life?  Ear hair and excess sags? Yes and no. So, when I went go to get new workout clothing the other day (my others have paint on them!), I realize: “I no longer need to buy an Extra-Large…. I can fit into a Large!!  Well, almost!” I then realize my summer goal “LIVE INTO LARGE.” Here’s a confession: My body is really an “L.”  Over the past 13 years, I’ve just settled for “XL.”   And every time I go to purchase new clothing, I realize, “This isn’t the real me … Continue reading

4 Times to Doubt Yourself

Dog climbs Everest

Disclaimer: I am often told that my posts are encouraging and inspiring.  This one may be more challenging, at least for some.  Hopefully for good purpose. We are typically told to believe in ourselves.  It’s the mantra of motivational speeches and graduation keynotes.  “You can do it!  JUST believe you can!” Well, sometimes that’s not helpful or good advice.  Kind of like my mom who told me, “Jeff, You can do anything!”  And, just this once, Mom was wrong.  (Though incredibly well-intentioned!) There really are times to doubt yourself.  Doubt, even in faith and self,  can be positive when it leads to authentic truth and ultimately positive action to do something different. When should you doubt yourself?  In other words, when should you question that what you’re doing is not good, helpful, fruitful, productive or … Continue reading

Are You a Problem Solver?


One of the best things we can do for a person is solve their pressing problem. On Friday, I stood  there dumbfounded and caught off guard.  As I drove up the wooded driveway in my parent’s New York state home heading to pick up my son, I confront a huge tree blocking the way. The tree smiles and taunts me almost to say, “Here I am . Now what ya gonna do?” Now what?? The storm has done more than blown up a few waves on the lake, it created a honking obstacle in my plan to pick my son up a few miles away and move about freely. I was: 1. Surprised.  That wasn’t there just a bit ago! 2. Powerless.  No way I can move that thing and there’s no way the car … Continue reading

On Big Decisions Without Losing Sleep

Dog Fell Asleep

For months, Mindy and I sought to make a pretty big life and family decision:Shall we move to Colorado?  And if so, when? Pretty big decision, agree? So, here’s how Jeff has “somehow” learned, (well really not learned!) how to make decisions in all his “education” and “wisdom.” These are the NOT – TO – DO’S. Mull over the decision throughout the day (especially while driving) Talk about it in sound bites with one’s wife … especially after a busy day. Stress about it.  Worry tends to help you think more creatively. and then there’s the best “wisdom.” Consider the decision when you wake up in the middle of the night.  You’re at your best and fully rested at 3:30 AM.  Sleep is overrated and surely the decision will become clear during that time. OK, … Continue reading