The 3 Villains to Defeat at the Start of the Day


It’s really, really easy to be tricked by the villains that plot to turn each day into  lousy, no good, rotten days. Then… string them together and…. I’ve done some pretty good stringing in my day and I’ve leaned that stringing together positive, purposeful and fully alive day at a time doesn’t just happen.  Stringing together lousy days, however, seems to just happen. The key is to be intentional! 3 “villains” lurk in the shadows and show up each morning to plot evil schemes and actions that steal and destroy our good days before breakfast!  To think EVEN YOU are immune from their vile attempts to destroy  good deeds and destinies is to forget your own humanity. I’ve realized that I MUST actively defeat them before breakfast in order to have a fighting chance to … Continue reading

My Largest Life and Career Lessons… From Playing Football


Last night I drove by the Tenafly High School football “stadium” in Tenafly, New Jersey. Even in the dark, the memories flooded back – as did my biggest life lessons from playing football. I know no one tends to sign up to play to learn humbling – but wonderful – life lessons.  Certainly wasn’t my intention when I joined the Tigers as a freshman in 1978. I learned this… albeit the hard way: “It’s better to move to a place you’re GREAT AT than to stick in a position that you’re “OK in.”  Do it for your team, for yourself and for your future! You see, I was “destined” to play Quarterback by “birthright.” My brother Todd was Tenafly’s all star quarterback in the 70′s. When I came on the scene, my brother Mark was … Continue reading

The ONE THING You Must Do As Soon as You Retire, Get Fired or Leave

Young Pretty Woman with Cup on a Traditional Mountain House's Ba

An 87-year-old man was confident when he told me: “If I could do it again, I would never just retire.  At least retire without really thinking things through first.“ “What do you mean?  What would you do differently?” I asked. “I would really think through what I wanted to do next. I just retired.  If I were to do it again, one thing I would do is really spend more time  figuring out what comes next.. beyond the financial planning!” Wow!  When life transitions hit, all the momentum tugs us towards either “doing what everyone else is doing” or voice of fear buzzing in our heads pushes us with, “Hurry up and get your resume together and get a job.”  “Move.”  “Move on!”  “Take what comes your way!” The advice from my fellow coach Scott … Continue reading

Do You Have Authority to Succeed? How come?

Proud stallion standing on top of a cliff

“Why should anyone listen to you?” “Why would people pay to work with you?” “Who do you think you are anyway?” “Why would smart people think you’re credible?” I fully understand those questions.  And I’ve lived with those questions.  (Sometimes at 3:00 AM!) And, they’re legitimate, especially when you’re being entrusted with responsibility, money or leadership.  (You don’t let your third grader drive a car!  Yep!) However, in a world that values letters after names, resume titles, big numbers and who’s who endorsements, there really are some sources of authority and empowerment that can , at times, be overlooked. Way overlooked! First, this is not to say that education and resume experience don’t matter.  AND when reinforcing this real authority may even further enhance its reach or impact. But what I want to highlight is … Continue reading

The Reality of Death and the Challenge to “Do It Now!”

Ein Gedi spring, Israel.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk when a girl I knew growing up came to mind.  I hadn’t thought about her in years! Sadly, many years. I think the last time I saw her, I was a snotty nosed junior-higher and she was in my Sunday School class. I was informed she had a crush on me, so in my mature way, I did the “mature thing.”  I was mean to her.  I teased her. (Yep.  Not proud of that!) With computer in front, I thought: “I wonder how Carol’s doing?” I quickly pulled Facebook and  typed in her name: Instead of the traditional page, I was directed straight to her “In Friend’s Of” page!  It included her birth date (just one month before mine) and the date of her death…. … Continue reading

The 8 Greatest Pieces of Career Advice I’ve Ever Heard


Who says just a few short words can’t change our lives? Or change our careers.  Though, I’m very much still seeking to apply them, these 8 have changed mine. Sadly, except for a few of them, I have forgotten who shared these pieces of wisdom with me.  So, if you were the one who shared this with me, I apologize… However, know you’ve affected my life deeply and maybe even many others. CAUTION: You won’t be able to apply all of these pithy proverbs today… or even in the next few months. However, pick just one (maybe two of these)  Write it somewhere you can see it.  See where it takes you!!  I dare ya! Read these slowly, and thoughtfully, OK. 1. “Don’t do what others can do and will do.  Do what others can’t … Continue reading

When Do Couples Need a Coach? (Not a Counselor)

Young running couple jogging

I can tell you when couples need a counselor for sure… from experience and from desire to stay together.   When your most significant relationship matters a whole lot, and you’re just in a downward spiral that’s not going away – arguing the same argument and dancing the same dance – get the help of a counselor trained to bring you together!  Don’t wait! However, over the past six months or so, I’ve stumbled into a whole new paradigm in my coaching that’s becoming a significant focus for me, especially now that I’ve moved to Colorado: Coaching Couples….particularly visionary couples who want to create change or leave a lasting legacy. I stumbled into it, particularly when a few spouses said the same thing, “I would love to do more together with my spouse in the next … Continue reading

Thoughts on Being Misunderstood

Yorkie vs horse

Clearly, none of us gets it all right or does it all right.  I, for one, can assert that I can be downright selfish, arrogant, thoughtless, rude and complaining.  I’ve been whiny, pushy, fearful, resentful and faithless.  And, it’s not like this all took place decades ago either! The Bible agrees with me: “There is no one righteous, not even one.”  (Romans 3:10) (that would include me…)  There’s no one who is always noble, virtuous, pure and honorable. However, the hardest part is when we’re (as far as we can tell) ACTUALLY seeking to do the right thing..  – things to help others – things that better life for all – things that further a cause – things that seek to do what others can’t do, won’t do or refuse to do…. AND – get … Continue reading

6 Transition Mistakes I Almost Made Again!


So, I recently (like last week!) moved 1000 miles across the country from Algonquin IL to Boulder CO.  One extra-large sized Yellow Penske truck, a still unsold home in IL, three dogs, one cat, one wife, two sons and a whole lot of details! Transition has a way of bringing out best and the worst.  I don’t remember a lot of days of my life -I tend to never forget the big transitions. I continually coach people in transition and find them making common mistakes.  So easy for an “expert” like me to spot!  : ) However, the hardest person to “coach” through transition is yours truly.  I came close to making these mistakes again, and by the grace of God didn’t make them this time.  (So far!) Here are six common transition mistakes  I … Continue reading

How to Coach Your Kid Before College


Most colleges can’t/won’t or don’t have as part of their bally wick to teach our kids what they should do with their life – and sadly, even what to major with.  (Trust me, I believe they should, but truth be told, few do.) Just a thought: as parents, why should we invest HUGE amounts of money in educating our children to do things they’ re not even sure they’re gifted, interested or have the guts to do? Yet, the Bible actually does encourage parents to be proactive about what most colleges don’t do: Help students find what they focus on in studies, majors, career and life.  Even if our parents never did this for us, it’s part of what parents do.  (Most of our parents were simply not equipped to do this, but this doesn’t … Continue reading