I realize many marriages just limp along. If that. I get it.
You may even cringe reading this... thinking. Yeah. Not possible. Or “I’m single.” Or “words like powerful and passionate don’t come near my marriage.”
So, I write this with plenty of grace, understanding... and wounds and failures I’d rather not share.
And many marriages are hurting!
But, that’s not the case with all of them. And maybe, just maybe some of the hurting ones can become powerful and passionate with a few key changes.
Is it possible to be in a marriage where you would be characterized as a "passionate powerful couple?"
There really are some couples who TOGETHER have something far greater as couples than they do as individuals. And as my fingers type, my mind fills with their faces.
They’re passionate. Excited. Adventurous. Loving. Purpose-filled. Spirited.
They’re powerful. Impactful. Influential. Generous. Change Agents.
Jeff and Nancy just came to visit, and though I know they’d be the first to say they’re far from perfect, Jeff and Nancy are a passionate powerful couple.
I say this because you get the sense that Jeff and Nancy are TOGETHER on a bigger mission that's about a bigger vision of life. They're BOTH leaders in their own right. They love and respect each other. They're not about keeping the status quo.
And their kids? They are passionate pwerful kids! They showed up here because they’re on an adventure to follow God as a family and live into the bigger story of their lives and mission.
In a world of marriages and families not worth emulating, I want to learn from Jeff and Nancy.
So, what would make someone a passionate powerful couple?
Here’s are five I came up with. (Feel free to add your thoughts below)
1. The man is powerful AND passionate.
I know I’m starting with the guy here. (No order necessary) But when guys have their power and feel respected and know their identity. Watch out world!
I get that power can corrupt. But the right kind of power and self-confidence in a guy makes him not need to please others, pretend or be something he’s not. It makes him be alive.
Women, a guy needs to know he’s good! It’s not ego. (Well, at least not allllll the time!) But, when a guy realizes he has something the world needs, he feels right about the world.
BUT, power with a passion.... when they have something bigger than just himself or even a family. That’s what these men have. It’s a sense of destiny to make the world a better place by serving the needs of people in some way. Full time. Part time. Any time.
2. The woman is powerful AND passionate.
The idea of all women just wanting to be rescued by prince charming and cared for without a thought makes for great movies. For great romance stories. Just not great marriages long term!
What marriage do you know worth emulating where Charming always rescues Beauty? Does she even want to be rescued?!
Women with power love their guy... but they don’t NEED their guy. They’re not dependent. They’re definitely not co-dependent. But they are dependable. And these women know how to get things done!
They know they’re beautiful because God said they were beautiful. And they know they’re skilled. Because God gave them skills. Many are still held back by their husbands.
Just check out Proverbs 31:10-31. She’s got power and not waiting for the guy to give it!
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
This was a passionate powerful woman!
Passionate powerful women I know have care for special needs children, organize messes, started companies, run companies, built schools, serve the poor and needy, raise money for those without water, shared the gospel, influenced countries, written best selling books, funded orphanages, brought world leaders together, spoken to audiences of thousands...
Some work outside of the home for income. Some don't. But they're all about a bigger life!
Because they care about something bigger than them and they're willing to use their power to do something. They don't just sit there! It's what makes them flly alive, passionate and powerful women!
3. They share common values.
Passionate pwerful couples are devoted to ideals and values that go beyond “survival” or even just “being married.”
They care about SOME THINGS together.
Almost every one would say “Family” is a top core value. But, some of the values I’ve heard shared include “Adventure,” “Honoring God,” “Generosity,” “Travel,” “Community...”
These values don’t limit them. Instead they set them free.
4. They do things together.
In a world that tears spouses apart for much of the day, passionate powerful couples have common causes, common meals, common adventures.
Some sit on boards together.
Some do mission trips to third world countries together.
Some host gatherings together.
Some serve in soup kitchens together.
Some even run companies together!
5. They fight like hell for their marriage AND their mission
OK, I used the word "hell." But it's exactly hell we fight! There are forces that seek to neutralize, kill, destroy and eliminate every such powerful passionate couple.
Much is at stake here!
So, these couples need to fight for their mate, their marriage and their mission. It’s about caring for each deeply without sacrificing the others.
Imagine a world where little girls and little boys had role models of many more such passionate powerful couples?
Can you see your own marriage as passionate and powerful?
OK, so how?
I did think of that and want to provide a free resource to help you.
Here's a tangible way to explore. I created a "great date" for you and your spouse!DOWNLOAD The 12 Questions to Unlock the Mission for Your Marriage!
"Use these questions a date night where you explore the even bigger vision: Why are we together?"
Here's what a couple who just did them over an anniversary dinner at an anniversary dinner had to say.. "I know this might sound crazy but we probably had our best date in at least 3 years since we have had kids! "
(Robert and Christie)
I really encourage you to give this a try. Here's the link to download it. (BELOW) CLICK TO DOWNLOAD The 12 Questions to Unlock the Mission for Your Marriage!